What is good in "Goodbye"?
Who would have thought that I would hear that question from a ten-year old korean student. It also seems to be one of the most difficult words to say.
It could be nice to hear it if you have assurance to meet that person again anytime. However, that is not the case for ESL teachers. Tik toc tic toc. Time flies so fast. You always have to say to goodbye to someone every month.
In our institution, some students stay for 6 months or more. These are usually adult students (the old or those who study English for their future career in Western Countries. Some of them go to the U.S., Canada, Australia or New Zealand for their working holidays after their stay.)
We also have University or Junior students who stay for a month or two during winter or summer vacation. This is the busiest time of the year for us,full-time teachers, and also the time where I could get higher salary for handling special classes and being a guardian to junior students. (It paid alot!!!..haha)
However, at the end of the season, everybody would just come and go, and when they do so, one thing is for sure.. I will not see them again.. Or perhaps we will see each other again after a long time. At first, it was quite difficult, but for seven years, I got used to saying "GOODBYE" every month.
Though, I always hate the sound of a suitcase being pulled to the play area because it reminds me that someone is leaving.
I am a kind of person who does not like to attach herself so much to others, because it hurts when you grow apart. However, sometimes you can meet people that can change your mind.
I had a student before naming Ayu. (not her full name) I did not think that we would click because she looked perfectionist. However, she must have been one of the most sensible students I have met. She was also fun to be with. We have many similarities, and we both love One Ok Rock (japanese rock band). We used to go out a lot after class and go to restaurants or cafe and talked about our lives, goals, and love. Yup. We talked about love a lot and our favourite person to talk was: Taka (the vocalist of One Ok Rock. Our "Boyfriend"..haha). Our classroom was always full of joy in learnings with a lot of crazy stories.
She was the one who cheered me up when my close friends left for another country. At that time, I thought I was already alone, but she assured that she was there for me..always. In the classroom, she was my student and I was her teacher. Outside, we treated each others as siblings. In fact, she is an older sister I never had.
On her last week at school, I wanted to stop the day because I knew that I would be sad to see her leaving. Then that day finally came that I wished didn't come. She had a farewell party with us (her teachers) and with her friends and batchmates. I could not cry because I knew she would be sad. She said that I shouldn't be sad because when she left, we would still be in contact. (Well, up to this day, we occassionally have a contact using Messenger, Line or IG). Before I saw her off, She handed me 2 big paper bags. 1 was full of japanese snacks, and the one had her favourite tumbler from Starbucks, and..... three albums of One Ok Rock (35xxxv Deluxe Edition, Jinsei Kakete Boku wa, and Niche Syndrome). She said, "I knew they were your favorites, so I bought them for you."
Seeing her left while pulling her pink suitcase and hearing how its wheels sounded while touching the ground made me sadder. She gave me one last hug before she finally step into the tricycle that would bring her to the bus station. Seeing the tricycle left while looking at her face with a smile and waving made me even sadder, but life should go on! (I thought).
Then I met Marquee. (the nickname I gave him). I already mentioned him in blog #4). He was the craziest, funniest and weirdest but one of the most genuine students I had. I got to teach him for 6 months.
I am one or two years older than him, but when we were together, we're like buddies who had known each other since birth. We occassionally went out with the gang and tried Eat All You Can restaurants or ate in Mang Inasal. This guy was really hilarious because he could literally eat everything served to him. I will never forget the time when we had dinner at Mang Inasal and he was able to eat 14 cups of rice. The face of the crew already painted that "I'm so done".( I thought the restaurant would go bankrupt that night.haha) He still wanted to eat more, but I told him, "You will die tonight if you eat more." Then that crazy guy stopped after hearing that.
When he left, there was a part of me that he brought. I lost a good student and a good buddy.
"Don't cry, okay?" he reminded when he was saying Farewell... while he was already teary-eyed. He danced at the faculty before he left. (I still have that video on my Youtube channel.)
Luckily, he didn't have a suitcase, but 2 big backpacks, so, that wasn't made me too sad. However, his 2-pages letter that I only read when he was not around anymore made me cry for the first time in a while since Ayu.
It was like a short story when he met me, how his life was during his stay and how sorry he was to be leaving. At the end of the letter he said, "You are my best Teacher." Knowing that I was the only one whom he wrote a letter to made me appreciate him more.
Everything seemed so weird the first day of the week after that when I entered my classroom knowing that there was no crazy Marquee there who knew a lot of gossips at school. There was no Marquee who would tell a story for fifteen minutes every time he step into the classroom. There was no Marque whom I could bully. But again, that's life.
(BTW: He visited us after a year, and at present, we still get in contact sometimes.)
The next student who became really dear to my heart was Kiki. (her nickname). I also did not expect that she would be very close to me because of our age gap. Do you know Fumiya from PBB? She is the girl version of him. She was so young, innocent, quite gullible, funny, clumsy and crazy. Simple things make her cry, but simple things also make her smile. She was known to be a "tambay" at the faculty.
Note: "tambay" means a person who often stays in one place.
She would eat whatever filipino food we would offer to her, and she also made us try many japanese food. Whenever she went somewhere, she would always bring back souvenirs with her and a lot of stories. She was not really that good at English then, so many times, she used Onomatopoea to express herself. She liked someone then and according to her, whenever she saw that person, her heart said, tsug tsug tsug tsug.hahaha.. (She ended up with that guy, anyway.)
We would frequently go to Mar's or Sarangbang (restaurants opposite the school) on Friday nights and she often got drunk, while I went back with a full stomach from eating their pulutan..haha
Note: Pulutan: Dish that you can eat while drinking
I was also sorry to see her leave, and just like many times, I still hated the sound of the wheels of her suitcase. Nevertheless, I was used to seeing people leave the school, so it was bearable. I needed to adjust again though. There was no Kiki who would sing, dance and do tiktok with me if I told her so. There was no Kiki who would bring snacks in the class because she thought I was always hungry. There was no Kiki who would tell funny stories about what happened to her batchmates who got drunk last night. There was no Kiki who would ask silly grammar questions. I knew, I would miss her again.
(At present: Just like Ayu and Marquee, we still communicate sometimes.)
It was difficult to see people just come and go. It seemed like you say "Nice to meet you" today, but tomorrow, you have to say goodbye to that person. But you know what the most difficult for me was? It was when my time to leave...
The school became my second home. My comfort zone. Every corner of it was full of memories. I got to teach diverse races, and met different people since I started my job there. For the seven years of my life, my job became a part of my world. I gained a lot of things, met awesome people, and traveled to many places because of it. Everything seemed to be perfect. But no matter how perfect it was....
I was done.
I had to give it up in order to get a better one. I couldn't stay there anymore because I knew I'd outgrown.
"Good bye faculty."
"Goodbye Kubo"
"Goodbye Circle"
"Goodbye Play Area"
"Goodbye swimming pool."
"Goodbye Hakbong."
"Goodbye Dahan."
I said silently while walking at the campus on my last night.
"I know, I will never see you again.."
It was when I was already in the other country when it sank in.."I really left the school."
I wept. I missed home, I missed my mom and my niece. I missed the school. I miss my classes. I missed everyone.
I missed everything,
but I never regret it.
Life has many books to offer, but you have to close an old one in exchange for a new one.
Surely, it will be painful at first, but nothing is constant in this world. That's life.
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